I'm BAAAACCCKKKKK... Phew that was a long time.

Hello to EVERYONE!!! 

I know what you may be thinking??? She has a blog? What in the world? Well, Busy Beaver over here didn't quite find the time to update things along the way so now that it has been 4 months I think it is due time!!!

It is time for some quick updates!!

I HIT MY ONE YEAR MARK!!!!

February 1st marks ONE YEAR since I started this journey and here are my stats...

I have lost... DRUM ROLL please.....

***80 POUNDS***

***Size 24 down to a Size 8***

   ***Stronger than ever***

ALSO.....

I GRADUATED!!!!! Say WHAAAAATTTTT??? Yep. You heard me. I am now the proud owner of a Master's Degree. I have officially been in college for 7 years and 3 degrees. I graduated from Family Nurse Practitioner school and now I am studying for my boards and will take those some time this summer. I am hoping to go into pediatrics because I love kids. I am still currently working in the hospital as an RN (registered nurse) which I have been doing for the last 10 years in the ER. 

In fact, those are my scrubs from last January 2015. Bottoms were a 2XL and the top is an XL and both were tight. I currently wear a medium on bottoms and a small on top. 

My family (those that could make it) and also my best friend Rachel (from @rags_to_raches) came to see me speak at graduation and then my man (more on that in a minute) threw a surprise party with all my best friends and family for me afterwards!! It was the best and most emotional day. If you can imagine spending 7 years of your life doing something and then finally reaching that end point it can tug at your heart strings. Incredibly grateful for my family and friends. 

Oh.... I forgot to mention that my Instagram has gone crazy!!!!!

In the last 5 1/2 months I have gone from 600 followers to almost 30,000k followers!!!! MIND BLOWING!!! 

I was published in a fitness magazine...

SELF MAGAZINE!!!!!! If any of you follow fitness then you know that this is a huge honor! I am still reeling over this one and astonished that they would want to feature me in their magazine!

http://www.self.com/fitness/2016/04/10-people-share-what-its-really-like-to-lose-50-pounds/

I was asked to come on a local news program called Good Things Utah on Channel 4 ABC News and talk about my weight loss. 

http://www.good4utah.com/good-things-utah/gtu-featured-guest/utahn-nationally-recognized-for-weight-loss-journey

You can Click on the Hyperlink up above and go watch the video clip of me on the news. Just remember I am not a professional and this was my first time on live TV. So, just ignore the awkwardness. Haha.


LAST BUT NOT LEAST... (For now)

I found LOVE... XOXO

Yep. They say when you least expect it. Well, being overwhelmed with grad school, clinicals, working, spending time with my little brother, making time for friends, working out, and basically trying to maintain life... I swiped right and found love. OK, OK. For all of you that recognize the reference of swiping right, I'll tell you the story later.

Anyhow, he is the best. He has 2 little boys and they are amazing. We work out together and push each other at the gym. We cook together and eat clean and keep each other on track. We actually met 3 1/2 years ago and so he knew me when I was heavy and also now. It's great to have a sidekick who also has a passion for fitness. Our dates consist of gym sessions and the occasional Yogurtland splurge.

Well....

That is all for updates for now. I am going to try and be more regular with my blog posts. I actually love writing and would love to post more fitness stuff online. This can also give you a little glimpse into my personal life that you don't get on Instagram.

This is the real me. Heather.

Finding happiness, striving for greatness, living adventurous, and passionate for fitness.

Thank you ALL for your continuous support and love that you show me online. I am truly grateful and speechless most of the time for the comments and encouragement I receive from people who are also on this journey or just starting. I can only hope that I can inspire someone along the way. I hope you have a great week!


XOXO Heather

Chapter 2: Support systems

Chapter 2

Alpine, Utah

I was not excited about the move to Alpine right before 2nd grade started. I was even more sad that my Grams would not be driving me to school anymore.

No more donuts.

No more 32oz. Diet Coke. 

I remember the first day of 2^nd grade. I had just gotten my perm re-done and boy those curls were tight. We made sure that they used the smallest curlers for the most dramatic of perms. Only the best for me of course…

I got a new outfit that consisted of floral printed spandex shorts with matching shirt and lined with black lace. I looked like a lumpy sausage in a roll of Waverly wallpaper. The only thing comfortable on me that day were the glistening white pair of wide-width orthopedic Reeboks that my Grams bought me to christen my first day at my new school. I had double-knotted those beauties for the day and was ready to take on my new and scary world.

Needless to say I still didn’t fit in. I guess you could say I was too smart for my age. (Don't worry, I got dumber as the years progressed) 

It was true.

In kindergarten I was reading on a 12^th grade reading level. I was bored most of the time but too shy to even ask to go to the bathroom let alone answers questions out loud that the teacher had asked. So, I did my work and played alone at recess. One time, I remember sneezing so hard in class that I peed my pants and I was too afraid to ask to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, I sat like that for hours until recess came. I then called my mother and had her bring me a new outfit. There is nothing spectacular to write about in those next couple of years of elementary school. I had a few friends here and there but none of them ever stuck.

Then 6^th grade came along and this is when I met Rachel.

rachel

I met Rachel one evening in 6^th grade when my mother made dinner for her family and I had to help bring it to their house. I remember I was wearing my favorite shirt and of course my Reeboks were newly polished to an angelic white. As we approached the house, my mother looked at me and quickly uttered "don't blow this" under her breath to me as Rachel’s mother opened the door and let us in. We entered the kitchen and I laid the food on the counter. Just then, a girl about my age came around the corner.

This girl was pale with freckles, weighed about 85 pounds when she was soaking wet, and had the straightest blond hair that you could possibly get.

Exactly the opposite of me.

They made the awkward introduction and instructed Rachel to take me up to her room to show me her Disney collectibles. I was fascinated by this girl and all the cool things she had in her room. We had very little to talk about and then we left.

This was my first encounter with Rachel and little did I know that she would be my saving grace for many years to come.

I learned later on, that Rachel’s mother had told her that she had to hang out with me and invite me places because I didn’t have any friends. I didn’t care. I needed a friend.

I knew that I was uncool in my stirrup leg stretch pants, paired with a Looney Tunes oversized t-shirt. My style progressed over the years but was still very slow moving and never really caught up to present day until I graduated college.

My cousin and I in Nebraska showing how bad "ass" we really were

Throughout the rest of the 6^th grade year we would hang out and get together at each other’s houses and I was really feeling like I was started to fit in somewhere.

I even convinced my mother to let me get my perm chemically straightened. It went from barely touching my chin to almost touching the small of my back once we let them out. Yes, those curls were tight.

Anyways.... Where were we?

Oh yeah.

At the time of this first encounter with Rachel I did not know how much we would be a part of each other's lives.

Throughout the years we became best friends. We were completely opposite. But that's what makes it work.

She was the class clown and the life of the party. I would describe her as someone who is liked by everyone. People knew who she was and this happened to also include every teacher at every school that we went to.

Yes, that is a fake eye patch. Senior pictures. In our yearbook.

Somehow, I was always dragged in to every mischievous event that ever occurred. She snuck me out of class. Got me to ditch important courses and even cheated on a few tests back in the day for each other (Shhhhhh.... don't tell anyone). She was the type of person who would lock the photography teacher in the dark room and then blame it on me just to see their reaction. 

I tagged along. I was always open to follow her lead. It was always an adventure. 

Fast Forward.... 

Yes, we are still best friends to this day. 21 years later. We talk/ text almost every day. We hang out multiple times a week. We fight like sisters and laugh till we cry. We can sit and do nothing and still have the best time together.

We go on trips together. We make fun of each other. We support each other. And I know we would die for each other. (Or pull the other one in at the same time to a bottomless pit of molten lava, either one works)

Deep stuff right there.

I tell you this because it is important to have relationships in your life that make a difference. It is important to surround yourself with people who inspire you. Who make you want to be a better person. Who will accept you at your worst and at your best. And everything in between.

Rachel is now the CEO of a clothing company called Rags to Raches. They specialize in kid's clothes and home of the original romper. Go check her out.

www.ragstoraches.com 

Instagram: @rags_to_raches

I have watched her build a brand that she is passionate about and puts her whole heart and soul into. She started from making her kids clothes and selling them on Instagram.

She is my biggest inspiration.

She manages to run a very fast-growing company. Has been featured in Vogue magazine numerous times. Has been interviewed on TV and had celebrities representing her brand worldwide. She has the most amazing family at home with 3 boys who I love like they are my own. Makes time to have fun with her friends and family. And is ALWAYS there for the people she loves. She always stresses the fact that family, friends, and loved ones come first.

She has been there for me on my entire journey in life. She has been there through the high's and lows and everything in between. She has cheered me on through my weight loss journey and stayed by my side when my mother died last year. She continually pushes me to succeed and genuinely wants what is best for everyone.

It is VERY IMPORTANT to surround yourself with people who are supportive in your life. Having your own personal cheering section will only help you to succeed. In return, make sure you are that person for someone else. A relationship is a two-way street. It is give and take. Always give more than you take.

We are like two peas in a pod... like Richard Simmons and his short shorts... like Bert and Ernie... like Michael Jackson and Bubbles...   OK, ok. Maybe more like Timon and Pumba but you catch the drift right...

Who is your biggest support? Who is your cheering section? Who is going to help you along in this journey called life?

Xoxo, Heather

Inspiration and Motivation

INSPIRATION & MOTIVATION

Today’s message is brought to you by your self-conscious…

Remember that little voice in the back of your head that kept nagging at you telling you that you are fat?

I did. I do. I still hear it. That little twit creeps his ugly head back in and plays tricks with my mind and telling me I am not good enough because I don’t look like a Victoria Secret Angel.

WHY… WHY… WHY????? Let me tell you why.

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW A BIG REASON WHY PEOPLE QUIT THEIR WEIGHT LOSS AND FITNESS PROGRAM?

I’ll let you in on a little secret. Let’s go into the mind of a fluffy person…

I am SO ready to start the NEW ME!! I am going to start my new diet and exercise program and drink tons of water and get up at 5am just to work out and then eat kale chips for snacks and look like a supermodel by the end of next month. Phew. Glad we got that figured out…

Oh man, I have been on this diet thing for 4 hours now and I AM STARVING!!! I bet I will learn to love celery if I just keep trying it. Ugh, I have to go to the bathroom one more time cause I have drank SOOOOOO much water today. Sure am glad I threw those Hershey Kisses away in the outside garbage because boy am I craving sweets lying here in my bed at night…

Day 2

I am ready for the new day! I feel lighter already!! Oh man, I can barely walk my muscles hurt so bad from trying to run yesterday. I might have to drink less water today because sitting on the toilet requires me to squat my leg muscles and that is NOT going to happen. Should I try peeing standing up? Guys have it so easy…

I am going to sit here and suck on my allotted 7 almonds I get for a snack and read this magazine to get celebrity body inspiration for the new me.

PAUSE

WRONG!!!! WRONG!!!! WRONG!!!!

Guess what? Losing weight is HARD!! One of the biggest reasons why fluffy people quit their journey is because it is hard! When someone who is 300 pounds loses 10 pounds then no one notices. When you go to the gym 5 days in one week and eat everything on point but you don’t notice any change in the mirror, IT WEIGHS ON YOU!!! No pun intended.

We all look for motivation and inspiration in all aspects of life. However, are we looking for it in the wrong places? I remember when I started my fluffy to fit journey in February of 2015 I went to Pinterest and looked up fit bodies. I must have had a dozen or more pictures of tough sexy looking fit babes that I was determined was going to be me by the end of the year. Some were celebrities and some just looked incredible.

What I didn’t pay attention to however was the fact that it was NOT REALISTIC!!!

PLEASE DO NOT BE FOOLED BY PHOTOSHOP AND SOCIAL MEDIA!! IT WILL SURELY MAKE YOU FAIL.

Would I love to look like one of the fitness models in some of the pictures I found? Sure. Who wouldn’t? Will I ever look LIKE THEM? Nope. Cause my body is completely different. Can I become my own version of fit? Hell yes I can.

Be sure to find people who inspire you and motivate you to be the best YOU that you can be. Stretch marks, extra skin, scars, freckles, and even cellulite is our own. No one can magically make them disappear completely. Find what inspires you.

REAL PEOPLE. REAL FRIENDS. REAL STRUGGLES. REAL SUCCESSES.

I have found myself comparing my journey and body to other people and pictures I see plastered all over the world wide web. It’s human nature. It is what can motivate us or inspire us to initiate or continue to change.

Just make sure it is the RIGHT people who are inspiring you. Make your own goals. Customize them to YOUR body. 

My own inspiration comes from many INCREDIBLE people I see who are normal just like me who are trying to get fit and healthy. My motivation comes from the support and kind messages I receive from people and my friends and family pushing me along the way! Surround yourself with motivating and inspiring people.

My hope is that my story can help inspire and motivate someone looking for a real person with real struggles and a busy life that just so happens to be getting fit and losing weight along the way.  

 Xoxo, Heather

The down and dirty of my journey...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

NEW YEAR, NEW ME.

Where did 2015 go??? I feel like just yesterday we were worrying about Y2K?!

But alas, here we are. Time to reevaluate this upcoming year and think about things that we want to change for the better.

**HAVE YOU MADE YOUR GOALS YET??

**HOW LONG ON AVERAGE DOES IT TAKE YOU TO BREAK THEM??

2015 didn’t start out as planned for me. I was doing all the necessary preparations for my mother’s funeral and also getting ready for my 2nd semester of grad school to start.

I never made the goal to lose weight this last year. It just goes to show you that it doesn’t have to be New Year’s Day at 12:01 that you decide you are going to be a better you.

I will you give you the cliff notes version of how my journey started.

Mine actually started with persistent phone calls from a dear friend about a weight loss program that he had done. I avoided his phone calls. I was almost offended that he thought I needed it.

CAN WE SAY DENIAL?????

Is he calling me FAT?? How dare he. As I stick another double-stuffed Oreo into my mouth. Pfft. I don’t need that.

After the funeral they say is the darkest time. Family is all gone. The stress from planning the funeral and making all of the arrangements is over. Then comes the hard stuff. Cleaning out their house. Dividing out belongings and selling what you don’t need. Taking care of bills.  

Going back to real life.

I received another call from this particular friend and finally decided to answer. After talking for a while I decided I would just try the program for a month so he would leave me alone.

THANK YOU FOR BEING PERSISTENT MY FRIEND!!!

I did a program called Take Shape for Life. It is pre-packaged foods/snacks sent to your house and consists of low-calorie high-protein types of foods that you eat every 3 hours and then one meal on your own consisting of lean protein and greens.

** I won’t go into detail about the program but if you are interested you can go to www.Crockett.tsfl.com and check out the foods and then contact me heathercrock@gmail.com to order if you think it is something you are interested in. I can help people order it now **  

(This program may not be for everyone. I am not endorsed by them to promote it by any means. It is just the program that worked for me)

I started my weight loss journey FEBRUARY 1, 2015. I was on the program for 7 months and then started the transition to be on my own. I took a month to transition.

NOW… I eat consistently every 3 hours. Small frequent high-protein, low-carb meals (I love Quest bars, especially the White Chocolate Raspberry, Cookies and Cream, Mint Chocolate, and Cookie Dough). The goal is to eat every 3 hours to keep your metabolism going. I love eating things like an apple with some beef jerky, a string cheese with an orange, greek yogurt and a couple nuts. Small meals that always incorporate mainly protein, low carbs, and lower calories. No processed sugar (except Sunday is my cheat day). No processed white flour. LOTS of water. Lots of green vegetables. I still have a Diet Coke every day (yes I know for everyone that rolled their eyes that it is not good for you, but hey I’m human. Maybe that will be my New Year’s goal??)

GUESS WHAT?!?!?!?!

I DID NOT WORK OUT MY FIRST 3 MONTHS!!! I was still not into it. I needed to focus on my eating because weight is lost in the kitchen, not at the gym. 

After 3 months I decided to start going to the gym. I sat on the stationary bike and would go at a moderate level of resistance (level 5) for 30 minutes while playing Candy Crush on my phone. Then I would lift some weights (not heavy but still 3 reps of 12) for 30 minutes and go home. That was it. I did this maybe 3-4 times a week.

I did this for months. When I realized I was losing weight still and that I didn’t want flab and my skin to be firm, I needed to make a change to the workout routine.

Starting in August 2015 I started HIIT workouts. Google them. 20 minutes high intensity with intervals of rest. I do this on spin bike, stair climber, and jump roping. I like to mix it up. I also lift heavy 3 sets of 12-15 reps with increasing weight each time (www.bodybuilding.com is a great resource for this).

***VERY IMPORTANT: Listen to music. Strap on your favorite tunes and go to the beat. It's always a motivator. Also, buy new gym clothes!!! You deserve it. It is important to feel good whenever you go out. Don't just wear baggy sweats and a t-shirt. You will never realize the difference your body is making if you always wear a potato sack to the gym. This also gives you the excuse to buy new ones when you grow out of the bigger sizes!!! I LOVE Old Navy yoga pants (thick waist band and comes in plus sizes too), maybe someday I'll be able to afford Lululemon after grad school and see how magical everyone says they are. ;)

I AM STILL IN THIS PROCESS. IT IS A LIFELONG PROCESS. I AM CHANGING MY WAY OF LIFE. IT IS NOT A QUICK FIX.

However, I NEVER imagined I would be where I am now. I still have goals. Goals are necessary. It is always great to work towards something.

This is just what worked for me. It may not work for everyone.

Hope this helps a little. Any questions? Just ask. I am here for support to anyone just starting out or in the thick of their journey.

 Follow along on Instagram @heathercrock            

CHEERS TO A NEW YEAR, NEW ME!!!

Xoxo, Heather

  

1 year. 365 days.

***WARNING****

Emotional post...

1 year. 365 days. It doesn't seem possible. It doesn't seem real. It seems like just yesterday I got the call.

This day exactly one year ago I was working as a nurse in the Emergency Department. It was your typical busy day where I didn't get a lunch and barely even got the chance to sit down.

Around 4pm I had the chance to look at my phone and noticed I had 10 missed calls. That is never good. I called my dad back from the middle of the nurse's station while holding 6 different medications and IV bags in my arms. I was gruff on the phone when he answered because I was in a hurry and didn't have time to chat.

When he answered he simply asked, "What are you doing?"    

WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M DOING?!?!?!?!?!? I'm at work in the ER.

He said, well you should sit down... I knew. I knew something was instantly wrong. My heart sank. My stomach was sick. The next 4 words out of his mouth was something I was not prepared for. It was also something that I had been dreading my whole life.

"Your mother has died."

The next in the sequence of events is kind of blurry and still seems like a movie. I sank to my knees and dropped the medications to the ground. I remember saying, "No. No. No that can't be. It's not true." But it was.

I then remember being escorted to a back room by some of the nurses. They grabbed my belongings and escorted me out to a police squad car that took me to the parking garage where my car was. I drove sobbing and in disbelief. I did not go home. I drove straight to my best friend's house.

I have had the same best friend for almost 22 years. We are sisters. Been through thick and thin. Cried, laughed, fought, and enjoyed every moment we spend together. Her family is my family. She called them all and they were all there waiting by the time I even showed up. Throughout the night I had every person whom I hold dear to my heart come by and visit me until 3 am.

I did not want to go to sleep because I would have to remember that it wasn't a dream all over again.

 I did not get out of bed that next day. My head hurt from crying. My heart hurt worse.

No one can imagine losing their mother, especially at such a young age. She was only 56 years old. She will never see me get married. See me walk in my graduation for my masters degree. Hold my children some day.

She had her demons. Plenty of them. Our relationship struggled because of it. I always hoped that she would come back. Back to the mother I remember as a child. Back to the mother who held me when I scraped my knee. Who wiped my tears when people would bully me at school. I never got that back. And now she is gone. Watching me from above. It's funny because I think I see her once in while. People look like her in passing. It's a simple reminder.  

Through the miracle of social media and INCREDIBLE generosity of my friends and family we were able to raise enough money to hold a funeral for us to say goodbye.

My mother leaves behind 5 kids, friends, and family.

Fast forward 1 year. 365 days later.

After this happened I took guardianship of my 11 year old brother. Although he doesn't live with me, I have gotten the opportunity to become a "Disneyland Dad" of sorts and I can honestly say he has been such a blessing in my life. We have date night every week and I have introduced him to the great outdoors and traveling.

I am now entering into my last semester of graduate school to become a family nurse practitioner. I never even got to tell my mother that I got into the program.

I have lost 66 pounds in 8 months and become the healthiest and strongest I have ever been.

And.... I am happy. Despite the year from hell, I came out on top. I started from the bottom, now I'm here.

Erin Eileen Crockett

8/9/1958-12/29/2014

  

Xoxo, Love "Sissy"